Dear Friend
April 2025
Hi,
Times can be busy, life is definitely filled with plentiful *duty*.
I share your feelings of happiness and wanting what is best for you, because you deserve so much. You are a beautiful friend, an amazing person. The things you do and say, I appreciate them even when they are not meant for me. I see how hard you try; it is truly, truly admirable. To say I feel jealous and envious is accurate at times and accepting the path fate placed me on can be frustrating to think about.
But, I'll be grateful for what I have right now: for you and your sweet, little responsibility, everything you do for me. I love you entirely, soul and essence.
Hi, sorry I haven’t taken the time to write. I feel like I’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to craft something perfect to say. Life is filled with too many duties and distractions, but here I am—finally.
Tomorrow is a special day, and I’m feeling excited for you. I’m proud of how far you’ve come in just a couple weeks. There’s been a shift in your mood and energy that I only hope continues to get better. That doesn’t mean that it’s not okay to feel sad about the past or things that haunt us, but I’m happy that most of your days seem to be positive recently. It makes my heart happy when you’re happy. However, I want you to continue working on that ~for you~ and not for anyone else, including me.
I’m excited to celebrate you tomorrow, and I’m wishing you all the best as you close this chapter and jump into the next one. The possibilities are endless.
A vow that fades in just three days,
Yet in my soul, its echo plays,
A song of bittersweet desire,
Flickering like a lone, gentle fire,
Evoking memories that time can’t erase.
March 2025
Hi,
I did my best to be social this week. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a fun time but I am exhausted, physically and mentally. I’ve learned this though, what you find challenging doesn’t always stay a challenge. It is kind of a scary thought. I had been scared to venture out on my own and meet new people, but those fears were quickly quashed. It wasn’t challenging at all, people are like spiders, equally as scared of you, most of the time.
The scary part is that we humans overcome challenge, and the difficulty continues to grow with the next challenge. If this isn’t challenging anymore, what else do I have to do to challenge myself, and as those things become less challenging, where do I go from there? My existentialism feels real. Is life just pushing yourself through uncomfortableness? When does it end?
In the least, I feel accomplished. I did what I set out to do and pushed through the fear. In return, I didn’t leave much time to care for myself. I didn’t clean and work on my safe space. My emotional cup was also left wanting. As I connected with new people from the shallow depths of my heart, the deeper end was left empty. I also learned this, shallow connections might make up the lack of a deep connection but they’re not the same. I wanted more, a deep connection, ours. Yet, you weren’t able to because such is life; understandable. The next challenge is perhaps to create more deep connections and to get there I must continue forming the shallow connections, hoping that one might become more than it is.
All this to say, I am grateful for us. I love us. I love the me that I am with you. I love the you that you are with me. It’s safe and boundless and sometimes unfair.
Goodnight. Sweet dreams.
Life is better with you in it, even when you're not. Miss you.